Troublesome Students
by Raven Silversea
Summary: Fon teaches history, Lal and Colonello are PE coaches, Reborn is everyone's hated math teacher, Verde's science class explodes things, and Skull regrets ever allowing Reborn into his home. This is the Mafia High School AU that no one, including myself, asked for.
1. Proofreading

**In which Takeshi has my work ethic and none of my perfectionism**

Skull yawns into his coffee cup as the classroom light flickers on. The clock in the back of the room is frozen at 3:13 and some odd seconds- has been for weeks. The phone in his pocket says it's really a quarter past seven in the morning. He saunters to the desk, taking a bite of his donut.

"De Mort-san?"

Skull closes his eyes for a moment. It is way to early for whatever shit this is. Setting his coffee down, he turns with a forced grin and says, "Just call me Skull, Takeshi. Honestly, I'm only a few years older than you."

Takeshi grins. He's leaning on the doorway with stapled papers in his hands and his backpack nowhere to be seen. "Skull-san then," he says. He runs a hand through tousled black hair as he steps into the classroom. "Could you look over my essay please?"

Skull glances between the clock and the steaming to-go cup of coffee sitting on the desk. He drops his donut onto the cup's lid and walks around the desk. "Sure thing, when is this due?" He pulls the rolling chair back.

"First period." Takeshi drops three sheets of lined paper stapled together and covered with his scrawl on the desk.

Skull's grin falters. He falls into the chair and pulls the essay closer. Don't rub your hands down your face. Don't rub your hands down your face. How the fuck is he so cheerful about this? "You do understand," Skull starts slowly, already mentally preparing himself for Minerva's tirades about students who have worse handwriting then doctors, "that it's better to get feedback before the day an assignment's due right? That way you have time to make corrections."

"Ahahaha," Takeshi rubs the back of his head with a hand. His amber eyes focus on the wall behind Skull. "I didn't write it until last night, Skull-san, so I couldn't've gotten feedback earlier."

Don't rub your hands down your face. Don't rub your hands down your face. Skull stares at the boy in front of him. Minerva is going to kill you and then bring you back just so she can do it again because she knows when you half-ass her assignments, boy. "Right, so we're going to put a pin in that issue and focus on your essay." If only to protect my ass from Minerva's wrath.

It takes Skull three sentences too many to realize the essay is written in Italian- semi-fluent Italian at that which is a challenge in of itself at times. It takes him almost one paragraph too long to realize he's reading about Giotto Vongola and the beginnings of the mafia. "This isn't an English essay…"

"Nope! It's my essay on the beginnings of the mafia for Fon-sensei," Takeshi chirps.

Skull's hand is covering his mouth before he realizes it was moving. Incredible, you, young man, have managed to dig an even deeper hole for yourself than I thought. Fon knew exactly what his students were capable of, and while he seemed like a laidback teacher, he expected all of his students to do their best. "I should never have allowed a gun-wielding stranger in my house," Skull mutters as he finishes reading Takeshi's essay. "Right, so there's something here you need to source," Skull circles a sentence in red pen, "and here as well. And you misspelled Renaissance ten, no eleven times." He looks up at Takeshi. "Did you proofread this at all?"

Takeshi at least deigns to look sheepish. "Uuuhhh, nope."

Skull groans into his hands. Forget Fon, Reborn's going to be pissed. He'd taken the Vongola heir and his guardians under his wing by request of Don Vongola, and he was not going to be happy to hear one of them was slacking. Again.

"Right, well," Skull checks the clock- forty-seven minutes before class starts. He sighs and looks down at the essay again. "Let's see what we can do."

**I am also on Tumblr, Ao3, and Pillowfort until the same name**

**Prompt Used from corvidprompts on Tumblr:**

**"Well, there's something here… And here also. And you misspelled… Did you proofread this at all?"**

**"Uhhh. Nope."**


	2. First Day- Physics Class

**In which, at the end of a very long day, Shoichi gets a front row seat to a handful of students figuratively dying and Teacher Drama**

Shoichi pushes his glasses further up his face and walks through the classroom's heavy wooden door. The teacher(?) doesn't look away from the beakers lining the top of his workstation, and Shoichi gulps. His stomach aches, and he hunches over, textbooks digging into his diaphragm. He slowly steps further into the classroom, carefully watching the green-haired man who doesn't appear to notice Shoichi's presence.

_What is he doing?_ Shoichi pulls out a cracked orange plastic chair from under the dark wood foldable table on the far left side of the classroom. Setting his books on the table, he glances around the empty- the door opens and two of his classmates walk in, so not as empty- classroom. Black-topped counters line three walls with cabinets that matched the tables above and beneath the counters. There were seven tables each with four or five chairs each scattered throughout the classroom.

Shoichi pushes his glasses again as the Vongola group loudly walks into the classroom. The teacher(?)'s green eyes cut to the side for a brief moment, and his brow creases. He mutters something before scribbling in his notebook. Written on the whiteboard behind the man is a series of chemistry problems, but Shoichi isn't familiar with any of the formulas. _Must be for another class_, he thinks with a short headshake. Though what class learns any part of- _is it organic chemistry?_\- that in high school is a mystery to him.

"What did you say about Jyuudaime?!" Gokudera yells. Shoichi spares a quick look to see a wide-eyed blond cowering before the future Vongola Storm.

"Maa, maa, Gokudera, it was only a joke," Yamamoto says, and Shoichi _knows_ he's smiling like Reborn.

The teacher(?) pokes at the beakers with the eraser of his pencil as if the potential murder in the back of the room is unimportant. Shoichi wraps an arm around his aching stomach, and the door continues to open and close as more of his classmates arrive. A brunette walks up to his table and asks, "Anyone sitting here?" pointing to the chair across from Shoichi.

Shoichi shakes his head. She nods, and her bag drops to the floor beside her with a thunk. "Got, got enough books there?" he asks.

The girl laughs. "Not according to the hivemind apparently." She jerks her head towards the teacher(?). "He always like this?"

_That is a good question_. "No idea," Shoichi says, pushing his glasses up again. "Shoichi Irie," he holds a hand across the table, "I'm a transfer from Japan."

"Really?" The girl takes his hand with a wide smile, cheeks bunching just beneath blue eyes. "Raven Silversea, just transferred from the US."

_What a pair we make_, Shoichi thinks as the bell rings, and the class falls silent, _two foreign transfers from opposite sides of the world end up in the Cosa Nostra_. Spanner walks through the door a solid thirty seconds after the bell like he has for every class today. He ambles his way towards Shoichi's table and takes the seat beside him, giving Raven a short head tilt and a muttered, "Spanner."

The teacher(?) continues to poke at his beakers and scribble in his notebook. After watching him for a moment, Raven shrugs before reaching into her bag and pulling out a used notebook, flipping through pages covered in various colors of ink until she lands on a half-filled one. Spanner's lollipop clicks against his teeth as he leans his chair back, one steel-toed boot propped against the peeling black rubber table edge.

A few minutes pass; the class fills with whispers; the Vongola group grows steadily louder, and Shoichi finally asks, "Sir?"

The teacher(?) grunts.

"S-sir, class has started." Shoichi frowns and clenches his jaw. His stomach feels like someone drove an ice pick into it.

"And?" the teacher(?) asks. "Work's on the board."

Sawada's classic scream rings out- _a year of hearing that is already year too many_\- and Raven looks over her right shoulder and whispers, "What the actual fuck is _that_?"

_Isn't this a physics class?_ Shoichi thinks as he pushes his glasses up. "I think it's organic chemistry."

Spanner pulls his lollipop out and twirls it. "Definitely organic chemistry. My nonno had a few textbooks on it."

Raven turns around and laughs hysterically into her arms.

Shoichi glances at Spanner. "I didn't know that was taught in high school."

"It's _not_, at least not in the US or any sane high school," Raven says to the table. Shoichi covers his smile with a hand while Spanner snickers.

The lollipop once again disappears into Spanner's mouth. "'M not too fond of it myself," he says. "Robots aren't nearly so complicated."

The classroom door bangs open, and the teacher(?) finally looks up from his beakers. "What are you doing here?" he asks Skull- _Isn't he Reborn's TA? Why is he here?_

"Reborn kicked me out," Skull says, waving a dismissively behind him and rolling his eyes. "Said I was too disruptive- and what _exactly_ are you having them do?" Skull stares open-mouthed at the whiteboard.

The class seems to hold its breath. Spanner's green eyes gleam, and Raven picks her head up enough to watch. Shoichi's fairly certain he hears Sawada muttering prayers under his breath as well.

"Simple organic chemistry." The teacher waves his hand flippantly and returns to his notes.

Sawada's definitely the one who sounds like he's dying though Raven's making a good faith effort. Shoichi pushes his glasses up and says quietly, "Comparatively simple, there's a reason it's a pre-requisite for medical degrees," in unison with Spanner.

Raven side-eyes both of them.

"Simple orga-Nope!" Skull grabs an eraser and removes the problems from the board. "There is nothing simple about organic chemistry."

"See, he has the right idea," Raven mutters, subtly pointing at Skull. "Y'all two are just crazy." She swipes her finger in the air between Spanner and Shoichi. "Simple my ass," she finishes with a glare.

The teacher glares at the back of Skull's head. "_I_ find it simple."

Skull jabs a finger towards the teacher. "_You_ have a Ph.D and apparently it's in dumbassery."

"Neuroscience," the teacher growls. He turns and tosses his pencil at Skull who ducks. "I did not go to Oxford to be insulted by a high-school-dropout!" Skull squawks a denial.

Shoichi sees a blond jerk his phone while muffling laughter out of the corner of his eye. "Going to need a copy of that video," Spanner whispers in his ear. "For science purposes."

"Science purposes, indeed," Shoichi answers.

"Honestly, who taught you how to teach? They need to be fired, like twenty years ago." Skull tosses the eraser on the table. He looks at the beakers and makes a shooing motion with his hands. "And put these away. God knows what'll happen to the students if something goes wrong." Skull shakes his head and leans against a wall. "Neuroscience, my ass. That degree's mostly dumbassery, and we all know it."

The teacher mutters something under his breath before turning off the Bunsen burners. "Yeah, yeah," Skull snarks. "Get some better insults old man, I went to public school for fuck's sake. I've heard all the jokes. Now, you gonna introduce yourself or what?"

The teacher gives Skull a final glare before standing and walking in front of his station. Leaning back against it with his hands in the pockets of his lab coat, he says, "The name is Verde. I have a Ph.D in _neuroscience_ from Oxford, and I am currently working on my dissertations for physics and chemistry." He surveys the class. "I am your teacher for-" He looks over his shoulder at the whiteboard.

"He doesn't even know what class this is," Sawada mutters.

"Physics," Skull butts in. "Not chemistry, not experimentation, not neuro-fucking-science of all things." He gives the class a two-finger salute. "For anyone who hasn't had the privilege of going to one of Reborn's rare classes where he doesn't run me out yet, I'm Skull de Mort, teacher's assistant and overall insanity curber. Any questions?"

Shoichi looks at Spanner who simply lifts an eyebrow at him. Raven slowly raises a hand in the air with a smirk. Verde nods, "And you are?"

"Raven Silversea, transfer from the US," Raven says with a widening grin. "So, how does one get a degree in dumbassery?"

A pin could have dropped. Shoichi's stomach clenches, and he hunches over the table. _She is going to die_. Even Skull's purple eyes were flicking between Verde and Raven while the entire class head its breath.

"Open your textbooks to chapter 1," Verde snaps.

**Loosely inspired by a prompt from corvidprompts on Tumblr. I didn't realize how far I had deviated from it until I was done, but the original prompt is **

"What makes you think I know anything about anything."

"You have a PhD."

"Yeah, in being a certified dumbass. And neuroscience. But mostly being a dumbass."

**Like always, I can be found on Tumblr, Pillowfort, and Ao3 under the same name**


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